I have mild dyslexia. Thus, I have a longstanding love-hate relationship with writing.
You see, I love to write to tell stories but I hate it at the same time because I often commit grammar and syntax mistakes without even realizing it.
"I learned to live with it using coping strategies".
I learned how to live with it using coping strategies. For example, in undergrad school, I would print my paper so I can proofread it properly. Sometimes, if they have the time, I would send it to my mom, my sister or my friends so they can go over and see if what I wrote makes sense.
Even if I have employed coping mechanism, it is always a source of shame and anxiety to me. For the past 25 years of my life, I shied away from writing. This is one of the reasons why I didn’t choose law school too – I felt I can’t survive law school without law school crushing my soul. This is also the reason why I often write in Tagalog whenever I post in my Facebook page when I was in Uni. Takot ako noon. Natatakot ako ma brand na : “Taga UP pero sablay sa grammar at syntax?” Tas, may bully kasi kaming batchmate; always laughing at people committing grammar/syntax errors.
"(My dyslexia) has always been a source of shame."
Today, I am better at handling my self-shaming. I think it’s the magic of learning a 3rd language and living in a country where speaking English is not a measure of once intelligence.
I learned to accept that there will always be people judging me and my writing (and laging may subthought na: I won’t let these people hurt me e Tagalog at English lang naman alam nila hahah chas). I learned that the people who cares would be lovely enough to send me a private message to point out my lapses. I also now have a team who proofreads (albeit always after the fact haha).
More importantly, I learned that good grammar and syntax is well and good but, writing is not just about your grammar. Writing is about telling a story to inspire people. It is about sharing your ideas and thoughts and rallying people to these ideas.
So, if you are like me, feeling insecure and unsure about trying something for some “perceived” lack of skill. I challenge you to rise over the insecurities. You’d be surprised to know that sometimes, these insecurities stem from the fear of judgement. Surround yourself with people who cheers you up and you’d see a big difference in your confidence :D